Waxing
by dark pookha
Summary: One kiss under the mistletoe changes things for Harry and Luna forever.


Waxing

"Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over my head. I started to jump away, but Luna grabbed me and kissed me before I could react. It was a quick, chaste kiss.

"Sorry, Harry, I think it was the Nargles. Mistletoe is often infested with them, and they can scramble your thoughts just like Wrackspurts." Luna continued to pack away the decorations that Dobby had put up in the Room of Requirement.

I stood shocked for a moment, then moved to prepare the rest of the room for the meeting. I couldn't believe that had just happened. I liked Luna, and I knew she liked me, but did she want to be more than just friends? I had never even considered that. I had just determined to ask Luna about it when others started to arrive. Cho came in with a group of other girls, and I forgot about Luna's kiss. Soon the room was full and we got our meeting underway.

I tried to help Cho as much as I could without being obvious I was favoring her. The meeting only lasted an hour, but I was pleased with how much we'd accomplished in such a short time.

After I had promised that we would tackle Patronuses after Christmas, the group started to melt away in twos and threes so we wouldn't arouse suspicion. I wanted to talk with Cho and made a show of straightening the room while she talked to her friend, Marietta. Finally she ditched Marietta and it was just me and Cho.

She was crying. She was upset about a lot of things, most of them Cedric-related.

I convinced her that Cedric wouldn't have needed the DA meetings and that he just was overwhelmed by Voldemort and the Death Eaters. We talked quietly for a few moments before she noticed the mistletoe.

She leaned in, I could see the tears still lingering on her eyes. She kissed me, and it was magic. Her lips were soft and warm, but her cheeks were still moist. I held her for a moment and stroked her hair. She pulled back suddenly and fled, crying again.

Stunned, I sat down for a moment before I got up and returned to the common room.

Hermione could tell instantly that something had happened and she put away the letter she'd been writing to Viktor.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I-it was Cho," I said lamely.

"You finally kissed her?"

I nodded.

"That's brilliant mate, how was it?" Ron asked.

I explained how confused I was and Hermione helped me understand what Cho was feeling. We talked for a while and then Ron got up to go to bed. Hermione started to head toward her bedroom, but I stopped her.

"Hermione, something else happened, too."

"Oh, what's that?"

"Before everyone else got there tonight, I was taking down decorations that Dobby had put up."

She interrupted me. "I saw the box in the corner. Harry Christmas, indeed."

I chuckled, then continued. "While I was taking down the decorations, Luna came in first and, well, she kissed me under the mistletoe. She said something about Narglets or something scrambling her thoughts."

Hermione sat back down across from me.

"What was the kiss like? Was it just a quick peck or a full-blown kiss?" She asked.

"It was just a quick, friendly kiss." I sighed. "Does it mean anything? Am I reading too much into this? I've never thought of Luna that way before, but does she want to be more than friends?"

Hermione laughed. "You know Luna's honest, if nothing else. If you ask her what it meant to her, she'd tell you, but really, it sounds to me like she might just have a crush on you and her emotions got the better of her." She thought for a moment. "You still like Cho, right?"

"Yes."

"Then go out with Cho. If you're really bothered by Luna kissing you, ask her about it, but I think you can just let it go." She leaned over and squeezed my hands.

"Thanks, Hermione." I squeezed back and she smiled. I knew then she would always be there for me, like the sister I never had. I told her that, and she blushed.

"Harry, I feel the same way." We both stood and hugged, then went off to our separate bedrooms.

Later that year, I had a terrible date with Cho, handled it badly and was shook up as I went to meet with Hermione. I was surprised to see Rita Skeeter and Luna there with her. Hermione had set up an interview with Rita to be published in the _Quibbler._ I did the interview and after Rita left, Hermione got up first to follow her. Luna lingered a bit and when I left, she followed me.

"You're upset," she said to me. "Was it having to go over all that again with Rita?"

I shook my head. "No, it was my date with Cho."

"What went wrong?"

"Everything, I guess." I told her the whole story and she laughed.

At first I was angry, as I often was in those days, then I started to laugh, too.

"I guess it was a disaster from the start, wasn't it?

She wiped a tear from her eyes. "I really do think your head might be full of Wrackspurts and they're making your thinking fuzzy. You really should protect your ears better." She dug around in her pack until she found a pair of furry blue and bronze earmuffs and handed them to me.

"There, these will protect you."

I looked at the ridiculous earmuffs and then at Luna's expectant face. I put them on. My ears immediately felt warmer in the drizzle and I really believe that I was thinking more clearly then.

"I've also enchanted them so you can hear through them as if you weren't wearing them." She spoke in a normal voice, but I could hear her just fine.

"You can keep those if you want, or if you're willing to wait, I could make you a pair in Gryffindor colors."

"Yeah, I think I'd like that." I said, surprised that I meant it. I took them off and handed them to her.

When she took them back, her hand brushed mine and I grabbed it.

"Thanks, Luna."

She smiled, a smile of a younger girl full of genuine joy and untouched by the world. "It's really pretty easy, Harry, it'll just take me about a week to order the fabric for them."

"I—I didn't mean for the earmuffs, but thanks for those, too. I meant thanks for listening and understanding."

"Anytime you want to talk, Harry, I can. You're my friend."

"And you're my friend, too."

We walked back to the castle together, talking about the weather, some strange beasts and when my interview would appear in the _Quibbler_.

After the interview, things were better with Cho for a while, until her friend gave up Dumbledore's Army, and then there was the battle at the Department of Mysteries. Looking back now, I did notice that Luna had the great idea of flying the Thestrals to the Ministry. But after the battle and Sirius's death, I didn't feel much like thinking of girls, at least until I met Luna outside of the Great Hall during the end of term feast. I was going to try to avoid her, since I didn't feel like talking to anyone after my talk with Nearly-Headless Nick, but there was nowhere to go to avoid her.

She was putting up a notice to have her stuff returned to her. She believed that people were being cruel to her and hiding her belongings, and that was certainly possible, but I thought it just as likely that she had just lost or forgotten where she put them.

She brought up Sirius and said she understood why I wasn't at the feast. It was easier in some way to talk to her than it was to talk to Ron or Hermione. I found out that she had lost her mother in a spell research accident, but she was sure, absolutely sure that she'd see her mother again on the other side of the veil. She meant the literal veil in the Department of Mysteries, and I understood right away; I had heard the voices calling from behind the veil and later I found out that she was right. My family and friends who had died would be watching and waiting for me to join them. It only lessened the hurt a little, but it was enough for then.

At first, I really pitied Luna that either other students were messing with her by hiding her stuff or that she was addled enough to lose them, but then as we talked, I grew to believe that the other students really were taking her stuff. Anger rose in me and it also helped push away the hurt.

"I'd like to help you find your stuff," I told her.

"It's really okay, Harry. It'll turn up, it always does. I think I'll go into the Feast now. You should come, too."

I paused for just a moment. I didn't know then that this moment would change everything, but I see it now. If I had gone off to be on my own then, it's likely that Luna and I would have just remained good friends, instead of lovers and parents of two lovely twins.

"Yeah, all right." I took her hand and we walked into the Feast together. Most of the students were eating, but a few of them saw us come in hand-in-hand. Definitely Ron and Hermione noticed, and Ginny followed Ron's gaze to us. I'm pretty sure that Draco and Cho saw us, too.

We sat down at the Ravenclaw table together, and she insisted that we have pudding first. I ate with her for a few minutes and we talked more about Sirius and her mother. She saw me looking at Ron and Hermione and told me I should go to them. I reached down and squeezed her hand.

"Thanks, Luna for being a good friend."

"You're welcome, Harry. Write me this summer?"

"I definitely will."

I went to the Gryffindor table and finished my meal with Ron and Hermione. They quizzed me about what was going on, but I just told them that Luna had been a friendly ear. Later on the train back, I told them everything.

That sixth year was super hectic, and its events have been recorded elsewhere, but not much is really known about what happened with Luna and me that year. We had written to each other a few times that summer and her letters always made me smile. I could picture her happily babbling on about the creatures and conspiracies in her letters and about her garden full of Dirigible Plums and her dad. I wrote back mostly that I was looking forward to getting back to school and away from the Dursleys, but also that I was glad of what she'd told me about seeing Sirius and my family again.

On the train back to Hogwarts, Draco caught me spying on him, paralyzed me, beat me, and left me under my Invisibility Cloak, but Luna found me with her Spectrespecs™. She un-paralyzed me, fixed my nose and cleaned the blood off with a handkerchief. We walked to the castle together, mostly in companionable silence as I thought over what I had overheard.

Professor Flitwick met us at the gate, and we got lectured about how worried he was and how he was about to send out a search party, but Luna mollified him by saying she was the reason we were late and that she'd been looking for me.

He sent us on our way and Luna and I went to the Great Hall to join the feast. We paused briefly by the door and I gave Luna a hug, which she returned heartily, then we both went off to our respective house's tables. It must have looked to everyone that we were dating, as last year, Luna and I had walked into the farewell feast late last year together and this year we were walking in together again, late. Hermione told me later that most people assumed we were late both times because we were off somewhere snogging. I laughed, but now the thought of snogging Luna didn't seem as strange as it did last year.

"I—No, I wasn't off snogging Luna." I could tell that Hermione believed me, but Ron and Ginny each had hard looks for me, and I definitely don't think Ginny believed me. "I'll tell you about it later."

That year was hectic and I didn't see much of Luna with the tasks that Professor Dumbledore set me. I did see her with her lion hat at the Quidditch matches and occasionally we would stop and talk in the hallways between classes.

Just before Christmas Ron and Hermione had a pretty serious row in Transfiguration and Hermione ran off crying. When I found her, she was just coming out of a girls' bathroom, being comforted by Luna, who was telling Hermione that while she liked Ron and he was funny, he could sometimes be insensitive.

After I had given Hermione her books and she left, Luna and I talked in the hallway for a few moments.

Then, it just popped out of my mouth.

I asked her to come with me to Slughorn's party that night. Even though I made a point to tell her it was just as friends, she was still excited to be going. She said that she had never before been invited to a party as a date or as a friend.

Of course Peeves saw us and started shouting around the school that we were dating. Most of the student already thought that and it just cemented it into their minds. When I was asked about it a couple of times that day, I just shrugged and didn't say anything.

When I came back to the common room that day before the party, Ron heckled me about asking Luna, and called her 'Loony,' but I shrugged at him, just like I had the others.

Ginny came to Luna's defense and made him promise not to call her Loony, then she told me it was quite nice that I'd asked Luna to go and that Luna had asked for advice about what to wear. I didn't realize that Ginny still had feelings for me, since she'd been dating Dean.

When I got to the party, Luna was waiting for me in silvery robes that matched her eyes. They shimmered in a bright silvery-blue and I watched it glitter as she walked to me. We both ignored the giggles that accompanied her.

We made small talk as we entered, something about a vampire as I recall. As soon I got into the room, Professor Slughorn dragged me away from Luna and had me meet some people. I think he was someone who wanted to write my biography or something like that. I saw Hermione across the room, and made my excuses. As I crossed the room, Luna rejoined me from the group around the vampire.

Hermione had come with Cormac and she was trying to avoid him, since he was being grabby. Luna and I helped her to get behind a tapestry and I misdirected Cormac. A few minutes later, Draco was caught trying to crash the party and I followed him when he left, telling Luna I'd be back in a few minutes. After I came back, I made the rounds at the party half-heartedly, thinking about what Draco had said. Luna noticed something was bothering me.

"Are you all right? You look constipated. Some Gurdyroot tea is good for that."

"What? No, I'm sorry, I just heard something that bothered me is all," I whispered into her ear. She flinched back at my breath on her ear, but then leaned in closer.

She kept her head close to mine. "Do you want to leave now?"

I nodded. She took my hand and we left, making excuses to Professor Slughorn.

I walked her back to her common room. It was a long climb up the tower. She chatted breezily about the people she'd met at the party and how the vampire looked sad. I mostly answered with monosyllables, as my mind raced about Draco and Snape.

When we reached the door to the common room we stopped. It was awkward. I didn't know if I wanted to kiss her or to just make my goodbyes. She acted first and leaned in and kissed me. It was like our first kiss at the DA meeting, chaste and quick. My mind snapped back to the present from thoughts of Draco.

She started to pull away and go to the door. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back. This time, I kissed her, and this was our first real kiss. Her lips parted as they met mine and we kissed for a few minutes outside the door.

As we broke away, I said, "I'm sorry I was distant at the end of the night, I heard something that bothered me."

"I figure it has something to do with whatever you're doing with Dumbledore," she said.

"How—how do you know about that?"

"I notice things, and I've seen you with him a lot this year." She leaned in and kissed me lightly again. "You don't need to tell me what's going on, I presume it has to do with Voldemort. If you need me for anything at all, please let me know."

"I will, Luna. I'm going to be at the Burrow for Christmas, you should come visit. I think Ginny and Ron would like that, too."

"Okay, Harry, I'll stop by." She leaned in and kissed me again. This kiss lasted forever, but forever was too short.

Christmas day arrived at the Burrow. Ron had received a horrible necklace from Lavender and I got a box of maggots from Kreacher. We went down for lunch later, in our new Weasley jumpers. Just as we were sitting down, there was a knock on the door.

"Who could that be on Christmas day?" Mrs Weasley wondered.

Ron and I went to answer the door. Luna stood on the other side, resplendent in a heavy red outer robe with white fur trim (fake as I found out later), looking very like a gamine Father (Mother?) Christmas. She had some packages in her hands wrapped in bright blue metallic paper.

"Luna?" Ron asked, as she pushed the packages into his hands.

She leaned forward and kissed me. Ron pulled back. I'd told him about Slughorn's party and our kiss afterward, but I don't know if he believed me or if he thought it didn't mean anything.

I helped her hang up her robe and underneath she was wearing bright red jeans with bedazzled ornaments on them, and a dark green jumper with a lighted Christmas tree on it. I took her hand and we went into lunch.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Weasley, I forgot that I invited Luna to join us for Christmas, do you mind?"

I couldn't read her expression. From what I know now, she wasn't upset at an extra person, instead she was upset because she knew that Ginny still had feelings for me, but I was oblivious. I think Mrs Weasley must have felt the same way when she'd been reading that I was going out with Hermione. She hid it quickly though.

"Not at all, Harry. Come on in, love, and have a seat." I sat down in my chair and Luna took Ron's next to me. Ron came back with an extra chair and jammed it in between Fleur and Luna. I could see Fleur's disapproving eyes on Luna's outfit and I noticed Ginny looking at her strangely.

We ate our lunch, enjoying mostly friendly conversation, with some frost between Mrs Weasley and Fleur and Mrs Weasley and Luna.

After lunch Percy came by with the Minister. The Weasleys thought that Percy was coming to join them, but he'd just been an excuse to come from Scrimgeour, who was trying to recruit me as a figurehead. He hadn't helped me, so I didn't help him.

When I went back into the house, it was tense. Mrs Weasley was crying in the corner with Mr Weasley comforting her and all the other Weasleys had stony faces. Percy had apparently just stood quietly while I was talking with the Minister and rebuffed any attempt to talk to him.

Luna was waiting inside the doorway. "What did the Minister want?"

I spoke loud enough for everyone to hear.

"He was here to try to recruit me to be a mascot for the Ministry. He wanted to have me support them, and he said he'd make it easier for me. I basically told him that I'd never support him as long as the Ministry kept persecuting the wrong people and ignoring the real problem."

I held up my scarred hand. "I could never support the Ministry as long as it ignores people like Umbridge. I'm sorry Percy was being used by him."

Mrs Weasley sobbed louder.

I went to her side. "Molly," I called her by name for the first time. "Percy will come back, he'll come to his senses soon. There's a reason he was a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin."

I hugged her from the side as Arthur did from the other.

She rose, blew her nose and left with Arthur at her side.

Fleur and Bill followed soon after, then George and Fred left to return to the shop.

Ginny and Ron both sat slumped in their chairs.

Silence reigned over the room until Luna got up and retrieved her gifts.

She gave a parcel to me, Ron and Ginny, and she held onto one.

"I thought Hermione might be here, so I brought this for her," Luna said. "Go on, open them."

Ginny opened hers first. It was a thin silver necklace with a hammered silver horse on it. Luna told Ginny a word and it leapt about the room, like Ginny's Patronus.

"Thanks, Luna, it's beautiful." Ginny said. She looked at me. "Harry didn't tell me you were coming, so I don't have anything for you."

"You're my friend, it's not necessary." Luna waved it off.

Ron opened his next. She'd given him a strange, metal sculpture about a foot high with bells on it at various levels. It also had a small striker.

"It's a meditation tree," she told him. She picked up the striker and rang a bell with it. Immediately, we all felt more relaxed, and I saw the muscles under Ron's jumper unclench some.

"It works best if you're in a quiet place with it, then you can clear your thoughts and concentrate on what's really important." She handed the striker to Ron.

"Thanks, it's quite interesting."

She handed a package to me.

Inside was a signet ring on top of another larger parcel. The ring was gold with a carving of a lion on it. It was strong and delicate at the same time. The lion was posed rampant, very like the Gryffindor crest. When I put it on my right ring finger, it magically sized down to fit.

"Wow, Luna, did you make this yourself?" I asked.

She nodded. "I made all of them. Hand-made gifts are best for friends."

I dug out the other larger parcel inside the box and opened it. It was the earmuffs she had promised me. Gryffindor colors, but just as warm as the ones she had. When you wore them, you could still hear clearly through them.

"Wait here," I said, then ran upstairs to retrieve her gift.

I pulled the box out of the dresser, wrapped in plain brown paper.

When I came back downstairs, Luna was telling Ron and Ginny about Scrimgeour's Ministry being part of some bigger conspiracy.

As I entered, the conversation stopped and all eyes tracked me as I handed Luna her gift. It was obviously a book from the size and weight. She ripped the paper off, gleeful as a child.

"A first edition of _Fantastic Beasts._ " She held up the book and admired its condition.

Ron whistled. "That must have set you back plenty." Ginny elbowed him.

"It's wonderful, Harry." She grabbed me and kissed me before I could react.

I caught Ginny looking upset for a moment from the corner of my eye before I shut them.

When we went back to school, it had become common knowledge that I really was dating Luna now.

We got together as much as we could until Professor Dumbledore reminded me of an important project that I had been putting off because I didn't know how to approach it. Finally, Ron made me remember that I had a bottle of Felix Felicis that I hadn't used.

I took the potion and managed to get what I needed for Professor Dumbledore (again this is chronicled elsewhere brilliantly and not germane to my relationship with Luna). Coming back from my meeting with Professor Slughorn and Hagrid, I stopped and listened when I heard voices.

Professor McGonagall was talking with Tonks. The Ministry had placed some Aurors in and around Hogwarts. We didn't often see them, but they were there.

Tonks was telling Professor McGonagall that Remus wouldn't be with her because he thought he was too old for her, and he worried that he might die in the conflict with Voldemort and leave her bereft.

"Nonsense that he's too old, if you love each other, then you should pursue it. As for dying, well, we all might. Voldemort does target loved ones for leverage, but if you dwell on it, you might as well give up." McGonagall spoke plainly.

This explained what I'd seen earlier with Tonks's Patronus and why she'd been so upset. But the part that stayed with me was the part about Voldemort using loved ones as leverage. I knew that Luna would be in danger as long as people knew we were an item.

I met with Professor Dumbledore that night and vowed to meet with Luna the next day. I found her right after lunch and asked her to go to the lake with me.

I sat next to her on the grass and leaned in. She smelled of the outdoors, like always, bright and fresh. Her hair shone light gold in the afternoon sun and I knew that this moment would stay forever in my mind.

"We have to break up," I said without preamble. She pulled back, shock on her face for the first time ever.

"Why?" She asked simply.

"I'm going to be doing some dangerous stuff for Dumbledore and for myself and as long as Voldemort and the Death Eaters think that we're together, they'll try to take you or hurt you, and I can't have that on my conscience."

She was quiet for long time, then leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid, but I'm willing to take that chance."

"I'm not." I said. "I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you or your father. I think we should break up at least until this is done. I don't want to. I want to be with you, you make me better; you listen and understand. I can talk to you about anything. I—I love you, Luna. At first it was just as a friend, but now, I love you, and I can't have you in danger because of me."

"I love you, too, Harry." She went quiet again. We sat for a long time in silence, our hands entwined.

"If you think this is for the best, then I'll do it," she said. "I wish you could tell me what it was."

I shook my head. "It would only put you in more danger if you knew. We should make a show of it so everyone knows we're through. At dinner, we should have an argument. I'll say some cruel things, but know that I don't mean them and I care for you always."

"I'll pretend to be upset if it will make it better." She leaned in and kissed me again. I kissed her back and we passed the afternoon in peace before we each had to go back to class.

At dinner that night, we went into the Great Hall together. I'd shouted a lot in an unused classroom, so my voice was hoarse and my face red, like we'd already been arguing. She'd streaked her face with water so it looked like she'd already been crying.

"I told you we're through!" I shouted. "Your sniggling whickerbees and flustering fogbogs aren't interesting to me anymore. I was just going out with you because you're easy!"

"How can you say that?" She was crying now, I think genuinely upset that we were going to be apart. "I've never kissed another boy, and it wasn't just Wrackspurts making my thinking fuzzy; I cared for you."

"Just go back to your father and his rag. Maybe you can wipe you face with it." I turned and stalked to the Gryffindor table.

She slowly made her way to the Ravenclaw table, tears streaming down her face. She sat next to Cho who comforted her. I sat next to Hermione and Ron.

"What the hell was that?" Hermione asked.

"Just an act, as long as we're together she's in danger and I can't have that." She nodded and whispered to Ron. Ginny came up to me.

"That was cruel, Harry." She was angry, truly angry. "I can't believe you'd treat Luna that way."

Ginny punched me in the face, hard. Her fist was like a ball of iron. My nose started to spurt blood. She went to Luna's side comforted her with Cho. I hadn't expected this, but it added to the act.

I only really saw Luna one more time that year and it was at Dumbledore's funeral. He'd been lain to rest in his white marble tomb and I lingered after the funeral. Scrimgeour tried to recruit me again, and after I rebuffed him, I walked off toward the lake. Luna caught up with me there. She walked with me in silence until we came to a secluded spot.

"He was a great man, Harry. You know you'll see him again, just like you'll see Sirius again."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Tears I had held in for a long time spilled out suddenly. She held me until the crying stopped and then kissed me.

"We can't be seen together," she said. "But know that I love you."

She left and I didn't see her again until after Easter the next year when we were captured and taken to Malfoy Manor after I had said Voldemort's name, not knowing it had been hexed.

I had seen her name on the Marauder's Map at Hogwarts and had followed it, imagining that I was next to her, and following her. I would spin the lion ring she made me around my finger. I saw her with Neville and Ginny a lot and heard how they had tried to steal the Sword of Gryffindor from Headmaster Snape's office.

When we were thrown in the dungeon, I was shocked to hear Luna's voice. I thought at first that they had discovered that we were together, but she was actually taken because of what her father was writing in my support.

When we escaped, Dobby's sacrifice hit me hard. He had been my friend, and more than that, he tried in his own way to watch out for me. He had the soul of a Gryffindor. I wanted to fall into dark times, but I forced myself to work. I'd figured out that what I needed was in Gringotts and that we needed a good plan to get into it. We had a month at Shell Cottage to get it together.

Having Luna there brightened the time for all of us. Her disposition was the main thing that helped Mr Ollivander recover and he made her a new wand to replace the one she lost at Malfoy Manor. When I wasn't cloistered with Ron, Hermione and Griphook, I spent as much time with Luna as I could.

Quite often, I would walk with her down the winding path on the cliff to the beach. We would look off to the pounding waves and just walk hand-in-hand. She brought a peace that I needed. I didn't tell her what we were planning, and she didn't push. She knew what Ron and Hermione and I were doing was important. She told me of Aberforth's secret entrance to Hogwarts, and I told her she should go back there and hide in the Room of Requirement with the rest of the Neville-led rebels.

The day of the break-in came, and I kissed her goodbye and told her that I'd see her soon, even if I only half-believed it myself.

The break-in went about as good as could be expected; we got what we needed, and escaped, if only barely. I knew that the next things that had to happen would happen at Hogwarts. We made our way there through Aberforth's entrance and I filled in the rebels that I was looking for Ravenclaw's diadem. We eventually found it and destroyed it along with Hufflepuff's cup.

And then, the Battle of Hogwarts began in earnest. I found that I was the final Horcrux and that to make Voldemort vulnerable that I would have to die. After Voldemort's ultimatum, I went to the forest to give myself up. I passed Neville and Luna sitting together on the steps in the lull in the battle.

"Kill the snake," I told them. "After I die, and the snake is dead, then Voldemort will be weak and can be finished off."

"Kill the snake, got it," Neville said. His face was streaked with dust and blood.

"Protect yourself, Luna, please don't die for me." I pleaded.

"Harry, if I die, it won't be for you, it'll be for what's right." We hugged briefly and I kissed her fiercely.

Then I went down to the forest to die. Again, this part has been written about elsewhere and I don't care to relate it here.

Hagrid was carrying my supposedly lifeless body back when Neville defied him. The moment's distraction of the approaching reinforcements was all Neville needed. He pulled the Sword of Gryffindor from the Sorting Hat, just like I did in the Chamber of Secrets, and he chopped off the snake's head.

All hell broke loose. The battle flowed into the castle and the Great Hall. I was hidden under my cloak, and was trying to save as many people as I could with Shield Charms while looking for Voldemort. I saw him fighting Professors Slughorn and McGonagall, and also Kingsley. I was going to him to finish him off when I noticed Bellatrix fighting Luna, Ginny and Hermione. I turned toward them to help, but I was too slow.

A Killing Curse shot out toward Luna and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. Ginny noticed it, too and shoved Luna out of the way.

The jet of the spell hit Ginny in the hand and she crumpled to the floor, dead.

I raised my wand to kill Bellatrix, but Molly beat me to it.

"THAT WAS MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"

When the battle was over, nothing was found of Bellatrix LeStrange, not even her wand.

I stripped the cloak off and faced Voldemort. He was weak and didn't know that we had exposed him and his weaknesses. My willing sacrifice had protected a lot of people at the battle, but not Ginny. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Luna and Hermione helping Molly pull Ginny's body away.

As the sun rose, I defeated Voldemort. Killed by his own reflected spell, I don't think he ever understood how his plan had gone wrong.

In the aftermath, I found myself sitting near Luna on a bench. I didn't want to intrude on the Weasleys' private grief over Ginny and Fred and I couldn't bring myself to go to Remus and Tonks or any of the others who had died.

"Do you want me to distract them so you can use your cloak and go?" She asked.

I leaned in and kissed her hair. Even covered in muck as she was, she still smelled of the outdoors.

"Please," I said.

She pointed out the window and shouted something about a bibberette and I made my escape. I went with Ron and Hermione and explained to them why I had done what I did.

I wanted to go back to Grimmauld Place, but the Weasleys insisted that I come to the Burrow with them. Ron wanted me to share a room with him, but I moved into Ginny's room. I would lock the door and just stay in there, looking out over the orchard where we had flown our brooms. I wouldn't come down for meals. Ron and Hermione came and talked to me several times, but I only came out to go the funerals and use the bathroom. I sunk deeper into despair. I saw all the faces of the people who had died, but Ginny's and Dobby's always came up the strongest. I think it was because I knew how she felt for me, but I didn't return it the same way. I think I could have fallen for Ginny if I hadn't met Luna at just the right time. Other times, I pictured Dobby over and over, saying, "Harry Potter," as he died. It was the same thing he had said to me when we first met. His last words to me were the same as his first.

I didn't shave and grew unkempt. Molly and Arthur came to speak to me and try to get me to come out. They said they didn't blame me for Fred's or Ginny's deaths, but I blamed myself. It fell into a spiral of blame, I blamed myself, saw the faces, blamed myself some more, saw the faces, and just went deep into the rabbit hole.

I don't know if it was two weeks or three weeks before Luna came. She had been helping her father rebuild their house and hadn't come because I'd sent my Patronus and told her to stay and help him. She hadn't realized how depressed I had become until Ron and Hermione went to her. They were afraid that I was going to kill myself.

I had considered it, but I knew it would just add to everyone's pain. At times, it still seemed worth it to escape this world of agony.

The knock on my door was loud.

"Go away!"

"Harry," Luna's voice came through the door. "Harry, open the door."

I didn't move. What was Luna doing here? I'd told her to stay away. I didn't want her to see me like this. While these thoughts chased around my brain, the door opened. Luna stood on the other side with her wand in her hand, having just charmed the door open.

"You look terrible," she said, honestly.

"I didn't want you to see me like this." I pulled the blanket further over my head.

"Hiding won't help, Harry." She sat on the bed next to me. "If you want to make their sacrifices worth it, you've got to live. Live and love, Harry, that's the way." She stroked my hair.

"I see their faces, Luna, all of them, but especially Ginny's and Dobby's. I don't know if I can take it and live. It might be better if I go away."

She wrapped her fingers in my greasy, unwashed hair and shook my head like a terrier with a bone.

"Now you listen to me, Harry Potter. You're going to get out of the bed, shave and shower and come downstairs and eat with the Weasleys. I'll join you and I'll help you. You can tell me anything and I'll be here for you." She stopped shaking me.

"I love you and if you go away or hurt yourself, then you'll hurt me. I don't want you to go away, and I certainly don't want you to kill yourself, neither does anyone else." She leaned down and kissed my cheek.

She slipped under the covers behind me and spooned me. She kissed the back of my neck and held me tight. All the tears that wouldn't come for anyone else came and I cried, unashamed, in Luna's arms.

Not too terribly long after that I got up. She got my enchanted razor and helped me shave, she took her time lathering my face before she ran the razor over my face. She had a delicate touch and let the razor know just what she wanted; I always felt it tried to fight me when I had used it before. Then she stripped me out of my filthy clothes and pushed me into the shower. When I came out of the shower, she had put out clean jeans and a plain black T-shirt. Strangely, she hadn't brought any underwear.

"You look much better, Harry." She leaned in and sniffed me. "And you don't stink anymore. You smelled like a Wallowing Wagglepuss."

"Have you ever smelt a Wallowing Wagglepuss?" I asked.

"Yes, once when I was in Brittanny, so there." She smiled.

We went down to lunch.

 _Epilogue_

August came and soon she would go back to Hogwarts and I would start in the Ministry. I had gone to her house to help rebuild some of it, and to just be near her. Xenophilius was starting to grow on me. He was odd, odder even than Luna, but he had a good heart and would go out of his way to help anyone.

He had gone into London for the week and left Luna and I to work on the attic. We had just finished mortaring the cracks, waterproofing it, and were carrying boxes back in when I stopped on the stairs.

"What's wrong, Harry?" she asked.

"I didn't realize that your father had such a punny sense of humor." I said.

"Whatever do you mean?"

I sat the box down so she could read the label on it.

"What about it? My mother made sculptures of all the famous composers, both Muggle and wizard."

"Say it out loud," I said and then started to laugh.

"Pandora's Bachs," she said. Then she caught it and we both sat on the steps and laughed ourselves sick. She leaned on me and laughed in big whooping belly laughs. I had finished long before her and just watched her laugh in joy. She caught me watching her and stopped. I pulled her tighter and kissed her, it was a kiss full of promises and passion. She returned it with a kiss full of life and love.

I stood and lifted her into my arms. I carried her down the stairs to her bedroom and onto her bed. We kissed long and fully and she started to remove my clothes.

"You're sure?" I asked.

"I've never been sure of anything more in my life."

When I woke up the next day, I saw the chain that connected my portrait to hers on her ceiling now read 'lover.'

 _A/N The first line is from the U.S. hardcover of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, page 453, with the change of 'Harry's' to 'my' to change it to first person. I'm also going with the movie version of HBP where Luna finds Harry on the Hogwarts Express rather than Tonks as in the books. Pandora is Luna's mother's name canonically. You'll find a lot of places in the story where Harry didn't want to talk about what he said was chronicled elsewhere-it's because he knows the books about what happened are out there, and instead he wanted to tell how he met Luna and became her lover. Luna also may seem a little less strange here. It's deliberately skewed that way as Harry's memories have started to make her less odd as he remembers her, kind of an unreliable narrator. This story is a sister piece to 'Waning' for TidalDragon's Knockout Challenge._


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